07. I Never Wanted - 2007.08.21 - An Ocean Between UsI never wanted
And I never cared before
Now take it all back
This is a new day
I never wanted
And I never cared before
Now take it all back
This is...
94 hours94 hours of regret for me to realize what I am
unfading beauty, not just a face
I held its innocence within my heart
Go!
Now I won't let go
I won't let go
A Greater FoundationReality no longer battles perception.
This letter's written to no one.
Sincere,
I sought your truth and divine purpose through myths of revelation.
Guidance all wrapped up in a paper box,
supported only so long as my mind was the enemy.
I could not in conscience hold on.
An Ocean Between UsHow many years have we waited
For a ship that never set sail?
How many days have we wasted
Chasing a love that was not our own?
I sat ashore and watched as one
Hopeless wave crashed upon another
While my thoughts ran to the highest hills
Anger And ApathyI've tried to find reconciliation behind the walls of those whose hatred burns.
For I find it easier to reach someone who still feels,
Than to make amends with passionless apathy.
Where all lines are the same a portrait cannot be made.
I need to burn inside. I need to know that you are alive.
I need to know that feelings of discontent are stronger
Anodyne SeaМоре успокоения
Всё это не важно, все эти слова не имеют никакого значения.
Обычными и тихими мы умрём в этом мире.
Мы говорим только с теми, кто со всем согласен,
И без них нас никто не слушает.
Защищай свои убеждения и ты будешь одинок.
Выносил ли я всё это хоть раз, никто не узнает,
Behind Me Lies Another Fallen SoldierI wanted to bring you all that is in my heart
I wanted to give you my everything
but I've failed you
I've failed you so many times
how can I stand here
how can I stand here before you
how can I stand here before you
Beneath The Encasing Of AshesReach inside of me
Far beneath the encasing of ashes
Bleeding red
Still showing signs of life
Remove the darkness
Take me away
A Stream of Hope destroy this corrupted cell
Purification
Beyond Our Sufferingbound to learn the hard way
this is the human condition
there is nothing that can be said
to stop us from making mistakes
when i look to myself as a source of ending pain
no matter how many times before i've failed
it seems our problems solve themselves
Blood Turned To TearsThis blood turned into tears
A broken heart runs my body
Dripping forth until I give my life
I have become a sacrifice
It hurts me just to think of you
I void the pain that is unbarring
(To know that I take these sufferings from you)
Bury Us AllI see them coming
With shrouds to bury us all
Before we were born they shaped our lives
Leading us into an unmarked grave
In moments life could end
So I will speak while I can
This is my chance
CauterizeGo!
The Truth of my heart
is like a repressed tale
A censored and silenced story
Repression or restraint
It is a delicate balance
Coffee MugMug mug mug
Coffee mug
Gonna clear away the haze
Liquid proof
That i can win this race
Coffee mug
The grip that keeps me tall
My inter-link
CollisionCan you understand my meaning hidden in the roses around my eyes
I want you to know how much it means to have you in my life
Your love brings me close again in this instance this single moment
when our worlds collide
The wire of eternity twists around us
I can feel this river rising, moving up my back
Some things never change
Some things never go away
Comfort BetraysYou sat and watched
As I nearly destroyed myself
Never had I felt so betrayed
That you would sacrifice my life
For no more than comfort
And now your love means nothing to me
You are a coward, the antithesis of a friend
Take action before there is
CondemnedYeah...
Condemned... Condemned... Condemned... Condemned...
Condemned... without given a chance to speak.
Without acknowledgment they're made less than human.
Condemned... Condemned to anonymity. Trapped by... Trapped by obscurity.
Condemned... Condemned to anonymity. Sentenced... Sentenced to neglect.
ConfinedThat night that I never came home
Wandering souls captured my thoughts
Emptiness filled my mind
Urgency spoke her lies
In the confines of these grey walls
I watched them move together
Taking me places I cannot remember (remember)
We have been poured out
Confined .That night that I never came home
Wandering souls captured my thoughts
Emptiness filled my mind
Urgency spoke her lies
In the confines of these grey walls
I watched them move together
Taking me places I cannot remember
We have been poured out
control is deadControl is dead in this blind world
For we do what we hate
Split from inside
Betrayed by emotion
Emotion
We must look past
What is in front of us
Distance is darkness
The contingencies of another day unravel my senses
And now your distance is darkness
And now your distance is darkness
My hope has been beset by your absence
I decay from inside
From inside
Falling Upon Deaf EarsThe sound of silent voices surveying my thoughts
regularity defining perfection
Neither sorrow nor contentment
Whispering emptiness
Whispering emptiness
Frail words collapse
My weight only stirs the ground
Forced To DieForced To Die
Exhausted beyond repair
Stripped of all I had
Forced to die inside
Now I breathe a renewed Life
It is now I see without my eyes
If this is what it takes
ForeverForever, your eyes will hold the memory.
I saw your heart as it overtook me.
We tried so hard to understand and reason
But in that one moment, I gave my heart away.
I gave my heart away.
In that moment, I gave my heart away.
In that moment, I gave my heart away.
ForsakenI've looked straight into your eyes
And turned my head for the last time
Because I was scared to leave these walls in ruin
Like the fate of those who trust in themselves
We are alone and afraid
I know you are the one we left behind
Yet somehow we are the ones who feel alone
From Shapeless To BreakableIf I have been kept alive for one reason,
It's to declare that apart from you I can do nothing
Though discouraged by my failure
I remember who I used to be
Like a murderer transformed into a pretty thief
I have so far, so far left to go
From shapeless to breakable I have involved. From shapeless to breakable I
I Never WantedI never wanted
And I never cared before
Now take it all back
This is a new day
I never wanted
And I never cared before
Now take it all back
This is...
IllusionsYeah
How could I ever go back (ever go back)
Back to the life
Where I live amongst the dead (dead)
How could I go back
To live amongst the dead
Losing SightCan we die to live another day?
How could we lose sight of what matters most?
Trying to love what cannot love us back.
All we have is not worth living for
If we do not know when to let go.
What is this life
Meaning in Tragedyi have traveled so far to find so little
meaning in tragedy or tragedy
in the search for the meaning
dark clouds have lead me here
confined freedom
guides us to security
what if everything
Morning WaitsAll along it was me who changed
Morning now waits for me
All along it was me
Morning now waits
Morning now waits for me
What I have to gain does not matter
If what I give is all to You
Moving ForwardWe're born helpless
But guided by humanity
What was compassion
Soon controls the way we think
Familiarity has left me desensitized
And inanity keeps deception disguised
My Only HomeLike a swarm of flies colliding with a moving windshield
So are our lives on this never-ending road
I have left behind my mark only to be later washed away
And was consumed with the allure despite the inevitable decay
When did the road that I'm on become my only home?
When did this become the one place I truly know?
(I truly know)
My Own GraveThe lies, the weight, deceit, decay
The lies, the weight
It's clear I lost my way
Deceit, decay
Decomposing
I thought I was an architect but I was just moving dirt
Stacking mud over malice covered-up forming nothing but a pile of hurt
I hadn't been building (building)
No Lungs to BreatheI fought who I am inside
Until I wanted, I wanted to die
Instead of finding balance I found hatred
Consumed by failures and ignoring my own strengths
Pushed out to sea without learning to swim
Or stranded in the desert with no lungs to breathe
With no lungs to breathe
Nothing LeftThis world was never worthy
But how can I call it unfaithful
Every promise was fulfilled
As decay crawled from it's throat
Like the dead rising from an open grave
Lips of splendor and tongue of deceit
All dying now as our fragile wrists hold only waste
Only After We've FallenThe worst form of illness is one that goes undiagnosed
Subtle decay secretly spread
A cancer of the soul
A cancer
A cancer of the soul
We are all dying
Some of us just faster than our friends
But pointing to a greater fault won't cure what we have hidden
OvercomeAll these moments of pain
Must add up to something
Our bodies have been trained to keep it all in
But our hearts still hold on
Some say to release it, forget about your past
Instead we count the cost, it's part of us
That doesn't mean that we cannot move on
ParallelsWe are all comatose. We are overfed and under... undernourished, yearning for something more.
Never starving yet never quite satisfied. Carnal but without useful flesh or mind. Yeah...
I am a walking contradiction that's found consistency
Consuming everything, all without producing sustenance.
In the parallels we struggle... struggle to upkeep, there is a better way for us to be set free.
From all it is we crave, there must be more to life than to simply stay alive... to simply stay alive.
ParalyzedWhat is certain I have ignored
I have spent most of my life trying to complicate everything that I believe
So that while paralyzed in thought I will always have an alibi
Just another excuse, just another excuse to hesitate, to hesitate
Delaying true progress with passivity
The answers that I've found are all the same
They uncover questions that still remain
RedefinedI refuse to let go of the memories
'Cause they've changed everything inside of me
If I could go back now to save myself the loss
Substanceless character brought back would be the cost
Agony today
Is tomorrow's strength
So don't run away
'Cause misery is
ReflectionI laid the night before me
Unraveled the tangles of my heart
All I felt was stale hollow air
These streams of uncertainty
They are collapsing upon my mind
Upon my mind
Repeating YesterdayThis is what I am
This is what I have become
Repeating yesterday
Drain me of my very essence
To form again what lasts
This is what I am
This is what I have become
ResilienceYour resilience inspires me
Facing tragedies I will never face
Your presence is humbling
To think of all that you have overcome
It took such little pain
For our lives to coalesce
Finding what I could've found in no one else
Sound of TruthМы все слышали то, что хотели услышать,
Правда - вот то, что нужно нашим ушам!
Мы все слышали то, что хотели услышать,
Правда - вот то, что нужно нашим ушам!
Мы все слышали то, что хотели услышать,
Правда - вот то, что нужно нашим ушам!
Но разве нужно много мудрости,
Tear Out My EyesThe storm is coming and I have a choice
To accept nature or lose my voice
Shall I scream and plead for nothing
Or build a roof over my head?
I mourn the days that I wasted
Trying to change what has been set
Fighting against myself
The BeginningFrom here to eternity we begin understanding
From here to eternity
I see who you are and who else can compare
I mean what i said, i promised to stand by your side
Until the end, that's where we begin
Until the end, that's where we begin
The Blinding Of False LightI see now, I see through the veil of expectation.
I see now, I see that conformity is betrayal.
Betrayal of those who are forgotten, yet vision alone furthers our blame.
Unless followed by transformation, it is pointless to be given sight.
Without the hope of our reaction, we overlook the purpose of our eyes.
Now is our chance to breathe without tyranny, released from the blinding of false light (blinding of false light).
The Darkest NightFor so long I
Have felt alone
Content to live with unrest
Longing faded into countless
Nights that buried my
Weary heart
You brought an end
To this dead hour
The Darkest NightsFor so long I
Have felt alone
Content to live with unrest
Longing faded into countless
Nights that buried my
Weary heart
You brought an end
To this dead hour
The Innocence SpilledFor so long I was deceived
Enslaved by these chains
Blinded to Your forgiveness
If only I knew Your love
Giving Your life to save me from this pain
Broken and bleeding I turned You away
Now I have seen the scars inflicted by my hands
The Innocence spilled to save me
The Only Constant Is ChangeThe only constant is change. The only constant is change. Go...
The human heart is born without legs, sliding back and forth,
And never once does it truly rest, unless accompanied by death... Sliding back and forth.
Even the strongest remnants of history, they have begun to crumble against time.
Sliding back and forth.
The Pain of SeparationHow can I bear this any longer?
Arms stretched out only to hold separation
Take me away, I'm dying inside
Emptied before you, take me into your arms
I will fight until the day when I will see
Sight given to these blind eyes
When will I be taken from this life
The PlagueJust like the spread of disease... Ya... Ya...
Debt and guilt or guilt and decree, the masters that we please.
Yet if we seek help for infirmities, we are made twice the sons of hell as before.
Reach out your hand. Reach out your hand, only to be plagued by disease.
Reach out your hand. Reach out your hand, only to be plagued by disease.
While religion tries to blame what we cannot see, I accept that part of the problem is me.
The Sound of TruthThe Sound Of Truth
We have all heard what we wanted to hear
"Truth" that sounds right to our ears
But what wisdom is there within us
To live based on the feeling of our hearts
How many times has instinct let us down
The Truth Of My PerceptionWhite shutters enclose
The boundaries of my heart
I hold my breath
Till the steady beating is shut out
In silence I wait for what is real
For I know the truth of my perceptions
Nothing in life matters more
The Voices That Betray MeShatter my emotions
Take them all away
Left alone to face You
Now You know my heart
Left only to speak what is true
See through this plague of flesh
With truth I say that I love You
Yet my heart betrays me
The WreckageThe wreckage seemed too great for me
I saw my dreams collapsing
Collapsing
But through debris of tragedy
Not one of us died fighting
The wreckage
We somehow found a way through storming weather
This is Who We AreNow this is who we are
I am no one's hero
For we are not the giant men
That some may think
You are faithful when we are not
So I'd like to tell this story
The way it is meant to be
Without the burden that's in our hearts
Through StruggleOnly through struggle have I found rest
With a piece of me taken away
I begin to understand
Hollow out this machine like chest
With its gears that turn to make me feel
And assembled thoughts that fade away
Throught StruggleOnly through struggle have i found rest
with a piece of me taken away
i begin to understand
hollow out this machine like chest
with its gears that turn to make me feel
and assembled thoughts that fade away
only through struggle have i found rest
UndefinedWhat is this world, what is it we've created
In the burdens of this life I cannot rest
this world means nothing
Everything we hold will pass away
with a void of completion comfort will ever fade
I long for this wind to cease
UndertowThe life that I sought was
Already like a jail
Long before I
Was ever bound
Wrapped up in chains
One had built the bonds
Use to hold me captive
UnwoundI see no reason to try and be what I am not
If simple honesty moves me, then why should I care?
Others may think I lost my poetic way (I've lost my way)
But I'd rather make my point without confusion
I have failed those who I love the most
And in the process become aware
I have accepted there is so much that I don't know
Upside Down KingdomMany choose to find their hope in the thoughts of afterlife,
When there is none to be found right here before we die.
So I understand the feeling of helplessness,
When we are just taught to wait here... wait here for death.
Wait here for death. Wait for this suffering to end.
Wait here for death. Wait here for death. Wait for this suffering to end.
VacancyWe live in slavery to a past we cannot escape, and I say it's worth it to just start again... again.
Weve focused so long on ideals of freedom that it is this very belief that oppresses us.
We all want to be free, yet we find ways to forfeit liberty
To our own impulses, to our own consumption.
So I say it's worth it to build a new foundation... a new foundation...
A new foundation... a new foundation... it's a past we cannot escape.
Whispering SilenceEach little piece begins to stack up
Now suffering under the weight of my choices
And I hardly recognize myself
Somewhere along the line
There stopped being lines at all
(whispering silence)
Whispering silence
Within DestructionAs i lay dying - Within Destruction
Люблю сидеть
Люблю рубить. Земля!
Уйди, самолет.
Ублюдок, бля...
Кроссовки!!!
Without ConclusionYeah....
If we chase acclaim in search for...search for stature,
then our status becomes a vacuum draining. Opulence is a myth for there is no final rest.
Change in circumstance only delays. The inescapable fact that we are downcast.
In looking to the end we’ve lost sight of where to begin.
Wrath Upon OurselvesI can only imagine that wrath is being held out
So there will be time for us to be redeemed
But surely wrath is not being held out
So that we may redeem ourselves
For I"ve seen the madness
Of those who died trying
But is regret only a word that the living possess?
I long to see their faces
АквафриЯ здесь. Я небо кидал
Уважай лес. Соус-кетчуп. Right doors.
Инжинерс. Fear на плоть.
Угости. C под коней. Придет копать.
Я здесь. Rain. Ворс.
Гель washing бросил в кеды.
Сырки не красят. Люк отдать
Прибегнуть (прибегнуть) way опять.
Тьфу ты, так и знал.1 куплет
Пошёл лежать, я надоел...
Качель, чую-вот оброс!
Много детей, идём-ка в лес!
Дай собрать минтай, мымра!
Мияяу, мияяяу, подогрей
Я вас целовал
Я мямлил диван