16 - SchadenfreudeGARY COLEMAN
Right now you are
down and out and
feeling really crappy
NICKY
I'll say.
Everyone's A Little Bit RacistSay, Kate, can I ask you a question?
Sure! Well, you know Trekkie Monster upstairs?
Uh huh. Well, he's Trekkie Monster, and you're Kate Monster.Right. You're both Monsters.Yeah.
Are you two related? What?! Princeton, I'm surprised at you! I find that racist! Oh, well, I'm sorry! I was just asking! Well, it's a touchy subject.No, not all Monsters are related.What are you trying say, huh?
That we all look the same to you?
Huh, huh, huh? No, no, no, not at all. I'm sorry, I guess that was a little racist.
I should say so. You should be much more
careful when you're talking about the
Everyones A Little Bit RacistYou're a little bit racist.
Well, you're a little bit too.
I guess we're both a little bit racist.
Admitting it is not an easy thing to do...
But I guess it's true.
Between me and you,
I thinkEveryone's a little bit racist
Sometimes.
Fantasies Come TrueROD
It sure can get lonely at night. Nicky, you awake?
NICKY
Ah, is that a unicorn?
ROD
Ugh, he's talking in his sleep again.
NICKY
No, I'll wear the purple shoes. Hh, who painted the kitten?
For NowPRINCETON:
Why does everything have to be so hard?
GARY COLEMAN:
Maybe you'll never find your purpose.
CHRISTMAS EVE:
Lots of people don't.
I Wish I Could Go Back to CollegeKATE MONSTER:
I wish I could go back to college.
Life was so simple back then.
NICKY:
What would I give to go back and live in a dorm with a meal plan again!
PRINCETON:
If You Were GayROD
Aah, an afternoon alone with
My favorite book, "Broadway
Musicals of the 1940s."
No roommate to bother me.
How could it get any better than this?
NICKY
It sucks to be meПринсетон:
Что делать со званием Бакалавра искусств в области английского языка,
Какой будет моя жизнь?
Четыре года в колледже и куча знаний
Заработали для меня эту бесполезную ученую степень.
Я пока что не могу оплачивать свои счета,
My Girlfriend Who Lives In CanadaROD
Ohhhh...
I wish you could meet my girlfriend, my girlfriend who lives in Canada.
She couldn't be sweeter
I wish you could meet her,
My girlfriend who lives in Canada!
Her name is Alberta
PurposePurpose.
It’s that little flame
That lights a fire
Under your ass.
Ha!
Purpose.
It keeps you going strong
Like a car with a full
Tear It Up And Throw It AwayKate:
Oh Nicky, Nicky, bad news.
Nicky:
What's the matter Kate?
Kate:
I can't go with you to the Phish concert at the Aquarium.
The internet is for pornKATE: The internet is really really great
TREKKIE MONSTER: For porn
KATE: I’ve got a fast connection so i don’t have to wait
TREKKIE: For porn
KATE: Huh?
There's always some new site,
TREKKIE: For porn!
KATE: I browse all day and night
The More You Love SomeoneKate Monster:
Why can’t people get along and love each other, Christmas Eve?
Christmas Eve:
You think getting along same as loving?
Sometimes love right where you hating most, Kate Monster.
Kate Monster:
There Is Life Outside Your ApartmentBrian:
Princeton!
Princeton:
Yeah.
Brian:
Listen, buddy, nobody’s seen ya for two weeks.
There's a Fine, Fine LineKate Monster:
There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;
There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;
And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.
There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.
What Do You Do With A B.A. In English[Princeton]
What do you do with a B.A. in English?
What is my life going to be?
4 years of college,
And plenty of knowledge,
Have earned me this useless degree!
I can't pay the bills yet,
Cause I have no skills yet,
You can be as loud as the hell you want(When You're Makin' Love)
Bad Idea Bear #1:
Take her home!
Bad Idea Bear #2:
She's wasted!