Bo Burnham все тексты (слова) песен, переводы, видео, клипы

нах закон нах игру нахер твой труд твою беду коль на всё болт забивать значит сосать то нах это и нах славу чуть нестабилен нах мозги я чуть как абель нах и тебя кейн тупая тварь коль я ж всё завалю то нах забудь о моём имени нах политиков сраных миссионеров треклятых красот состязаний проклятых традиций фанатичных и грёбаных ненавижу всю эту я херню ты может нет и тя пошлю плевать кому ж я говорю ты у нас кто вали к чёрту

Let's do it
Yo, yo, yo, what's up
Word to my n-words

Don't got bros, don't hang on the streets
I don't beat my hos, I only beat my meat, yeah
Don't womanize cause you know it's true
that when you look in their eyes you see they're people too

She got me with her look
She got me with her stare
Bright blue eyes and her long blond hair
From the start it was easy to see
This was the girl for me
Who cares if she was 83?

She could make me silent, she could make me shout

[Chorus]
It'll stop any day now (any day now, any day now)
It'll stop any day now (any day now, any day now)
It'll stop any day now (any day now, any day now)
It'll stop any day now (any day now, any day now)
It'll stop any day now (any day now, any day now)
It'll stop any day now (any day now, any day now)
It'll stop any day now (any day now, any day now)

Art is dead, art is dead
Art is dead, art is dead

Entertainers like to seem complicated
But we're not complicated
I can explain it pretty easily

Have you ever been to a birthday party for children

Yo, walkin' my poodles, man, it never gets old.
With my dogs on my leash, I got bitches on the hold,
A first-AIDS kit? That's a rhesus monkey.
I bust more nuts than a pistachio junkie.
Get more ass than a giant donkey stable,
Got more lines than Whitney Houston's coffee table.
I get more head than grammar-school lice.
I'm like a walkin' glacier, I'm so decked out with ice.

Part of me loves you
Part of me hates you
Part of me needs you
Part of me fears you
And I don't think that I can handle this right now
I don't think that I can handle this right now
I don't think that I can handle this right now

[Verse 1]
Red bull in my hands
Feels like I got wings
Lot of people in my face
But I can't hear a thing
It's like my head's up in the clouds
Head's up in the clouds
And I ain't comin' down, no

well i’m the girl for every high school guy
yeah, i got everything
a little shirt and a skirt so high
every month you can spot a cotton tampon string
i’ll drop my books and then i’ll bend
and then i’ll bend a little more
everybody thinks ashley’s my best friend
well that bitch is a whore

Sluts, sluts, I fuck sluts.
Sluts get fucked when I fuck sluts.
No if and's, and or but's. I fuck sluts.
I fuck sluts. Nice girls are nice but no good for nut-suckin,
You'll need a serene night to green-light a butt fucking,
But that'll be easy with sleazy old slut fucking.
Boo to the nice girls! Praise bae to slut fucking.
I have a list. A list? Yes a list of all the sluts I've missed.

Now I don't know if all boy scouts are gays
But they could probably "tie the knot" in like fifty different ways...
I got a safe full o' cherries, cause I pop it and lock it,
A girl's like a fridge, once a week you should stock (stalk) it,
And girl, if your into a rimmin it's only safe if your swimming,
And girl don't sit on the couch cause I treat my objects like women.
I spit fire like I just blew a demon
My shits so hot I leave the toilet bowl steamin

My dog's stomach was very upset, so we put him in the car and we went to the vet
And on our way to the vet, I killed a cat
I say, isn't that ironic?
I adopted a child from overseas, to rescue him from child labor factories
And on his very first birthday, wen went to Build-A-Bear workshop
Isn't that I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I
Yes and a waterpark is burned to the ground, and a tow truck is broken down
I always used to cry when I laughed then I was raped by a clown

Here he is our little Bundle of joy
We did it honey it's a baby boy
We'll love him and raise him, till he finally leaves us
What should we name him?
How about Adolf

Little Adolf.

You filled the hole that pierced my soul. I promised I would find
someone willing to take a run round pleasures of my mind.
Am I a perv? 'Cuz every nerve is craving for you touch.
You make me laugh, you're my better half
though you're not twice as much.

350 pounds of love, you must have fell from up above

Everytime i go to dinner
seems like im getting a little bit thinner
I'll sit down at the breakfast table
i can talk, well theyre not able
When i look at them i find
there's a single question on their mind.
i wish it could go back to the way it was
its not easy now because...

What's a pirate minus the ship?
Just a creative homeless guy.
And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant?
An ironic way to die.
And what's domain domain range?
A kid with too much in his pants
And two balls, minus one
Six/Seven titles at the Tour de France

All the seats at the Sunday masses,
Filled with the mass's massive asses,
Classes pass as fast as molasses.
Ceremonial reading glasses.
Read a little bit of Leviticus.
All the kids are a little too little for this.
All the parents nod in agreement -
"I think I can vaguely see what he meant."

[VERSE 1]
I love your hair I love your name I love the way you say it
I love your heart and you're so smart, 'cause you gave away it
I love your sis' I love your dad I love your mum
But more than all of that I love the fact that you are dumb enough
To not realize everything I've said has been said before
In a thousand ways in a thousand songs, some with the same four chords
But you'll still love it, let me finger you

I met a homeless man named Rich
Isn't that terrible
I saw a flyer for a lost dog and the dog didn't have any legs
I saw a diabetic kid trick or treating
I saw a giraffe with a really short neck.
That was sad. Or a deer.

I saw an old man get hit by a train

The books you think I wrote are way too thick
Who needs a thousand metaphors to figure out you shouldn't be a dick
And I don't watch you when you sleep
Surprisingly I don't use my omnipotence to be a fucking creep

You're not going to heaven
Why the fuck would you think Id ever kick it with you
None of you are going to heaven

[Verse 1]
Walking around, I've got no one to talk to
There's everyone, and then there's just me
If I could change, don't you think that I'd do it
God only knows why he cursed me to be
a straight white male

alright kids, welcome to your first sunday school class
let's get right into it

did you know that jesus died on the cross
just to keep you from masturbating
and did you know that prior to 1960
he frowned on interracial dating

I'm not one of you
I am not human being
Do you know who I am?

I'm a little teapot
Short and stout
Here is my handle
Here is my spout

(So I've done a lot of comedy, so let's, uh, take a little break from that...and this is just a song that, if you'll just indulge me it's, uh yeah)

She was the perfect woman, in every single way,
She made the sun shine brighter, and all my cares go away.
She was the perfect woman, she was a gourmet chef,
They say that love is blind, well it's also deaf.

Cause Helen Keller was the perfect woman, and no one understands,

We got a little serious there.
I think «fisting"should be called «upper-cunting»,
And we’re back.
Do you guys like impressions?
(Yeah.)
«Why?"That was Socrates.
Older traditional stand-up comics sometimes have problems with me Because they think I use music and other stuff
And they think I’m a gimmick, I’m a hack, you know, I’m a gimmick comic

Before Youtube I walked through life.
And now I frollic.
Youtube has been like a father to me,
Except Youtube's not an alcholic.
Before Youtube I was just a skinny white kid,
That thought he was funnier, & cooler
Than he actually was.

i'm a feminine eminem, a slim shady lady
but nice cause i texted haiti
90 lady cops on the road and i'm arrested for doing 80.
like hamlet, all about "words, words, words"
divide a whole into thirds, thirds, thirds.
i'm a gay sea otter.
i blow other dudes out of the water.
i'm the man muffin, divin', muffin,