Gay BoyfriendGot a man, call him my boyfriend, think I've fallen in love
The only man that gives me the things that I am worthy of
Hugs me and holds me, kisses me softly, calls me back right away
He communicates his feelings to me and cares what I have to say
He says
[Jon Daly & Josh Fadem]
"Baby, I love you, baby, I need you
Handjob, Blandjob, I Don't Understand JobI got a problem and I can't contain it
I'll use my icky sticky rhymes to help explain it
Handy Js are like Stonehenge to me
Robert Stack can't even help me unsolve this mystery
I'm the messed up child of a baby boomer
I was in the gifted class but a total late bloomer
Now I got a secret to get off my chest
I Would NeverRemember the time we went out to dinner
You and I alone
We ate some French fries
Let's do it again
Remember the time we went to the movies
Laughed so hard we cried
And then we ate more French fries
LoserYou didn’t do it, didn’t reach your goal
Your heart is broken, you’re an asshole
And you didn’t have what it takes
So here’s to you and your huge mistakes
You’re humiliated, hollowed out, and exhausted
You were in the ring fighting the fight, and you lost it
This isn’t your time, this wasn’t for you
One Night StandI never do this ever
It's not what shy girls do
But something in your eyes
Drew me closer to you
Do you feel the spark between us?
Sometimes you just can tell
I feel our two souls touching
Pregnant Woman Are SmugPregnant women are smug
Everyone knows it, nobody says it
Because they're pregnant
Effing son of a gun
You think you're so deep now, you give me the creeps
Now that you're pregnant
I can't count all the ways how
Pregnant Women Are SmugPregnant women are smug
Everyone knows it, nobody says it
Because they're pregnant
Effing son of a gun
You think you're so deep now, you give me the creeps
Now that you're pregnant
I can't count all the ways how
Rainbow ConnectionsJust after the storm breaks,
With the perfect amount of light,
You can catch a glimpse of magic
If the timing is right.
Rainbows are improbable, beautiful, and rare,
But so are you, and so is this, the love that we share.
Too vast to hold, and too small to name
It's no wonder why
Save the RichEveryone knows these times are really tough
And we need to band together and say we've had enough
All the jobless people need to learn to be content
'Cause what we need to do is protect our 1 per cent
Save the rich
Let them know you care
Don't leave them to languish in their penthouse of despair
Self EsteemYou text at 3 in the morning
And you misspell my name
You slept with half my friends on Facebook
And most of them think you are lame
You say that with me, it's different
And you're not that big of a dick
And if you disappear, it's just you're busy
Self-EsteemYou text at 3 in the morning
And you misspell my name
You slept with half my friends on Facebook
And most of them think you are lame
You say that with me, it's different
And you're not that big of a dick
And if you disappear, it's just you're busy
Sex With DucksPat Robertson once said,
"It's a long downward slide
That'll lead to legalizing sex with ducks
If two men can stand side by side"
God, I hope he's right
'Cause if gay marriage becomes lawful
Gonna find myself a duck
Siilver LiningYou gotta get up in the morning
No matter what happened last night
He ripped your heart out without warning
But there’s only one thing to do
No matter what you’re going through
Get up out of bed Right foot left foot moving
Get out of your head Soon you’ll be improving
Silver LiningYou gotta get up in the morning
No matter what happened last night
He ripped your heart out without warning
But there’s only one thing to do
No matter what you’re going through
Get up out of bed
Right foot left foot moving
The LoopholeAll my life I've been good
To what my mom and dad and God said I should
Go to church and bible school to live by God's rule
So whatever people tell me that the Bible tells me, I will do
Walk the halls of my school with my purity ring
Unlike those other girls, I've got my morals in check
It was easy to do till I got a boyfriend
And pardon my French, but he's cute as heck
This Party Just Took a Turn for The Douche....
We roll into the bar cause that’s how we do....
Garfunkel, Oates and the rest of the crew....
Give a dollar to my homegirl and watch that bitch go she....
Weed CardEveryone knows marijuana's dangerous
And medical pot is really strong
That's why it's so hard in California
To get your weed card
Unless something's really wrong
Gonna pay a visit to my doctor
It's a long shot but I gotta try
She hands me a list of all the ailments
WowYou
Yeah, you
You're really cool
You can be anything you want to be
Time
To fly
I'm talking to you
No hablo espanol, I see