- Having It Out With Distance
My footsteps are light as I walk down the creaky stairs but my head is heavy and my heart slows with every beat I know I must get out of my apartment before the tears start to fall, my headphones echo the broken hearts of others who must have been on similar walks at one time or another...the parks are sedate and the swings sway in the summer breeze now is not their time...I said i would always be there for you and I meant it, you letting go was never part of the plan we would hold on and get through this world togehter. There was no one like us and even though our lives didn't always intertwine I knew somewhere someone understood...now just because you found a new peace doesn't mean I'm not still here listening...where were you when I needed someone to talk me out of it...I just wanted someone to listen and hug me friendship thicker than blood, I miss you so much...I try to accept it and smile for you remembering when we would spend all night in shopping center parking lots sitting on curbs you trying to quit smoking and me swearing to you I would never start, I told you all of my troubles and deep inside I knew no one was like you, you would tell me about your life at home and how you had to get away, chemicals that held you closer than I could but I never let ayone know I defended you until the end, even when the phone rand and that pause hung in the air like a weight I could never hold up I knew you were not weak you just had enough...I didn't sleep for days I just sat awake shaking and remembering all the nights we talked about it, the way the parking lot lights shined in your black hair, your eye make up smearing on my shoulder, the taste of your lips so we could just think for awhile but the tears always came back one of us just couldn't hold it together but we were together until the sun came up and you had to sneak back into your bed...please come and kiss my dreams...I still remember the smell of your breath and the taste of your tears and the sound of our voices when we said it would be alright...a thousand apologies and a thousand more thoughts of dying I really wish I could make you understand that if I could do it all differently I would and you would come out on top...if only I knew numbers, take four today it will help slow me down enough to see it through I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry...I remember the last time we talked you told me if I listened closely I could hear angels dreaming, I listen and I miss you...I listen and I miss you.
- My Sweet Recovery
the brakes have been cut, the trips have been set, fingertips have been burned; it will be all like this never happened.
you were angry and scared (six ways out of this) and i felt nothing at all (six reasons to leave)
there are no more last times, there is no flight plan, i tore down all of my boundaries, i roped in all of my safety nets, you never forget when it stops.
you were angry and scared (six ways out of this) and i felt nothing at all (six reasons to leave) (it always hits harder than you ever let on) when i finally woke up, you were in someone else's arms.
- Our Love Is Ours To Define
the missing you is no longer measured in days, each time it smells like rain or the leaves turn themselves inside out. i think back on that last night, our lips like cadavers, our last kiss would be our last kiss, when they upped the dose and the machines were hooked up. and you were rationing breaths as the weight fell off, the skin sunk in, i was found counting steps in the waiting room saying 'it is ok to let go, we've already said our goodbyes long before they found us here' this is for the fallen who whished one day it would be realized that love is love is love is love is love...
- Take It On The Mouth
the taste of your breath tells me you've been worrying again
and how i struggle to convince you that you're so much prettier than all of
those punk rock girls that you think i lust after
stars on hips means much less than hands held with conviction
much less than the promise of forever
mean much less than all of this
much less than...
so why are we here
- The Kiss Before The Crash
This is the place where the ground rushes to meet you,
soft as snow, rest now.
And this is the night after driving all day that I knew I could love you.
The night you showed me places you were afraid to go.
And taught me what a beautiful face erases in the blink of an eye.
Here is where desire spills through t-shirts like notches on your spine.
And here is where you caught me blushing so loud a word
need not be spoken.
- We Will Make it Look Like an Accident
the walls are closing in, the whites have been bleached, our eyes are like undertakers. fade to black now! fade to black now!! (how could i ever say now when it feels like this?) your hands so wet, your fingertips dangle promises, the secrets tear from the inside, the scent never comes off (how could i ever say no) i love you. i will always love you