- 80 - 37
lemonade stands and memories of innocence and purity and the noon-day sun at
ninety degrees (the things i carry with me) the ice cream man at four or five
how we'd flag him down and ask for rides and evenings when we'd sit outside and
name the cloud shapes in the sky those days are gone now and we must carry on
but i will not forget the things i learned on your front lawn and how we rode
those dusty trails on huffys and schwinns from christmas sales made forts out
of crates with rusty nails and only came home when our stomachs failed those
days are gone now and we must move forward still but i will not forget the
- 80-37
Lemonade stands and memories
Of innocence and purity
And the noonday sun at ninety degrees
The things I carry with me
The ice cream man at four or five
How'd we flag him down and ask for rides
And evenings when we'd sit outside
- A Letter
And always there is a picture of you and her
Coming home happy from a vacation on the seas
And you looked like a sailor
With a tattoo of an anchor on your arm
Your hair greased back
Face weathered by places and days I'd never seen
Sometimes I read and reread
- Aletter
and always, there is a picture of you and her - coming home, happy, from a vacation on the seas. and you looked like a sailor, with a tattoo of an anchor on your arm - your hair greased back (face weathered by places and days I'd never seen). sometimes i read and re-read the birthday card you sent me when i turned seven. and i know the sun will never shine the way it did that day (when we threw paper airplanes at your head, and sat on your knees - laughing).
- End Serenading
Will you come and what will I say
Oh I have been so distant and unhappy
Like I could disappear
When I was a boy I saw things
That no one else could see
So why am I so blind at twenty-two
To the hope that is all around me
- February
And the snow falls down, Melts before it even hits the ground. And I'm standing here listening To the sound of your hand washing back. And forth across my filthy heart. And I don't know if I should say "I'm sorry" or "thank you". I try to speak but the tears choke the words. And I think I finally know What they mean when they talk about joy.
- Five, Eight and Ten
the humble and righteous and meek are teaching me whose will to seek but who really knows how to speak about these things questions of where can he go when he is feeling so low and kicking himself just to show how he still bleeds and i want to know the difference between what sparkles and what is gold i wonder how many eyes are fixed like a vultures on me now i wonder if i can even move or breathe without disappointing someone and i know what they call themselves but i don't remember inviting them to put me on this pedestal and make me feel so naked afraid to look down afraid to turn around i bring it on myself i know i bring it on myself and i want to know the difference between what sparkles and what is gold i walked along beside the purple mountains beneath the orange sky imagined what it all might look like with these planks out of my eyes i wondered if the big white horse was coming down tonight i wanted to taste that victory but my mouth was dry my mouth was dry (there is only tonight and the light that bleeds from your heart makes me want to try and start again).
- Five, Eight, And Ten
The humble and righteous and meek
Are teaching me who's will to seek
But who really knows how to speak
About these things
Questions of where can he go
When he is feeling so low
And kicking himself just to show
- For Ivadel
ivadell, you held us in your arms that day
but look at how tiny me and matthew both were
and you so strong, and full of grace.
what stories these pictures can tell,
of days when we bathed brightly in the sun
with the medicine of laughter everywhere
ivadell, I held you in my thoughts that day
(and wished that they were arms)
- For Ivadell
Ivadell, you held us in your arms that day. But look at how tiny me and Matthew both were. You were so strong and full of grace. What stories these pictures can tell of days when we bathed brightly in the sun, the medicine of laughter everywhere? Ivadell, I held you in my thoughts that day and wished that they were arms when you were frail and passing from this place. What stories your paintings told boys of hills too steep to climb ascended and hearts that were not afraid to flap their wings and fly? But you are safe now and effortlessly breathing where new weather will fall on you. Your fears break like waves foaming into themselves, disappearing into the sea.
- GJS
you woke me in the morning to say "he is risen!" and i replied with a smile "he is risen indeed." and somehow you always leave the room, alive with truth and beauty - and carry yourself like you know that it's all just a matter of time. i said, "but maybe I'm too far down this time." "too proud to hope - to weak to climb." but you just pierce me through with eyes, that know i'm not (and i can); and carry yourself like you're sure of it: that the stitches dissolve, and the wounds all heal in time. i only hope someday i might resemble you in even the smallest way; i only hope that you can be proud of me.
- Gloria
A brave morning
Thoughts flap their wings and fly
And I can still taste
Defeat on my lips
Bright tie, fish fly
I have not yet arrived
How can I not admit
- If I Could
She stepped outside into the morning air
To watch the cars go by and let the sun dry her hair
I wanted to tell her how beautiful she was
But I just stared
I sat behind the wheel and watched the raindrops
As they gathered on the windshield
And raced down into the humming motor
- July
the sun fell down again last night on my anger the sun fell down again last
night on my frustration and on my spite and i didn't even cry i didn't even
try to stop it at all i just stood there and watched it fall and this is the
last song that i should ever sing just one more time and i'll shut my mouth
forever.
- Love My Way
there's an army on the dance floor
it's a fashion with a gun my love
in a room without a door
a kiss is not enough in
love my way, it's a new road
i follow where my mind goes
they'd put us on a railroad
they'd dearly make us pay
- Palisade
and there I was at fourteen - spinning with my arms out like a scarecrow;
walking down monroe to the park, and dancing up madison. With my eyes closed,
your feet sounded like a symphony of strings (you picked me up, and whispered:
"forever", like a secret in my ear). to smile (like it caused the grass to bend)
. the warm wind and these memories are gifts that I could never comprehend. i
died that day. but something was born inside of me that I cannot explain away.
- Parking Lot
I wouldn't mind if you took me in my sleep tonight
I wouldn't even put up a fight
I wouldn't care if you took it all away today
I'm sure I wouldn't even miss the pain
But I know I've got to live my life
And roll around on the ground and feel the strife
And realize along the way that I'm nothing more
- Rubber Legs
i remember little town and the big gray house with the burgundy door the lawn shaped like a boot and the boy who liked pretending that the island in the middle was a shore time is a clock ticking it stops my heart to think of it i remember the magic in your eyes i'd stare at them and you'd say the silliest things like "christopher i'm crazy about you" and "matthew i love you monstrously" and it's my favorite time of year how i wish that you were here (or how i wish that i could be there) to watch the lights blink on the tree give thanks to god for everything and lay down all my fears and it's too late to call you on the phone and tell you that your boy is all alone tonight but i will never forget how you taught me to stand on these rubber legs and fight.
- Sadder Star
She holds the world in her fingertips,
all the joy and all the pain.
she only has to close her eyes and open them again,
to find out what is good and what is true... and what remains.
when she cries, i swear that i have never seen
a sadder star... fall...
from the sky.
- Slower
It's been so long since I've been by myself
And I need this more than you will ever know
People like you and me never felt the breeze
People like you and me will never know the easy way
I scream into the wind and laugh
As the words slap me in the face
I would gladly trade a lifetime of convenience
- Take The Picture Now
There are blue skies in my dreams
And laughter that seems unending
There are green grass fields there
And happiness and hope for tomorrow
My cup is full and my heart
Spills awkward and embarrasing blood
Onto white golden streets
- Waking To Winter
In winter when the air gets cold
And breathing causes white ghosts to appear
They light up the city with Christmas trees
And strings that hang across the street
From telephone pole to telephone pole
So that when I'm driving home at night
- Walking to Winter
In winter, when the air gets cold and breathing causes white ghosts to appear, they light up the city with Christmas trees and strings that hang across the street from telephone pole to telephone pole. So that when I'm driving home at night, tired, frustrated, and pinned down by spite, I'm reminded that your love, unlike these things will never change or fade or pass away.
- Your Body Is The World
When I was fourteen
I thought you could save me
Thought there were no maybes
Believed everything
One day when I am young I'll see
Rows of mountains fall away
In evergreen shrouded in the mist, the mystery
Unfold in every living thing