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Top of the mornin' to ya laddies!
My name is jacksepticeye (top of the mornin')
My name is jacksepticeye (uh!)

My name is jacksepticeye (yes)
jacksepticeye (yes)
jack (yes) jack (yes) jack (yes!)
All the way

*high-five*
Top of the morning to you laddies, my name is Jacksepticeye
Top of the morning, my name is Jacksepticeye
(eh)
My name is Jacksepticeye
Yes
Jacksepticeye (x2)
Jack (yes), Jack (yes), Jack ( yes), Jack (yes) ---

Everyone knows the news is boring as hell.
We might as well make a rift in the space time
Chop it up and add a bassline (YEAH)

Some of my colleagues somehow feel like heroes when they vote to cut food stamps (to cut food stamps)

Oh, watch me cut this program. I’m like Superman had a baby with a lady name Ayn Rand
Imma take a broke family’s Christmas ham make a ham-drone, send it to Afghanistan

Such a nasty woman
He choked (wrong)
He choked (wrong)
He goes around with crocodile tears
Wrong, such a nasty woman

We have so many adversaries overseas
Can we all agree to be frenemies?

He's climbin in your windows
He's snatchin your people up
Tryna rape em so y'all need to

Hide your kids, Hide your wife
Hide your kids, Hide your wife
Hide your kids, Hide your wife
and hide your husband

You should know that a man with the power of nature
Can bring you to the end of your luck
And you should know by my stride and the look in my eye
That you're about to be massively forced to give up!

Chicken attack
Chicken attack
Watch your back before it fades to black

You probably thought this deer was alive
And this koyot was alive
And this pheasant was alive
They're dead. They've been taxodermized by Chuck Testa
I specialize in the most lifelike dead animals anywhere period
Look at that antilope driving a car...
Nope. It's just Chuck Testa
Nope. Chuck Testa.

I knew, somethin' was wrong, when a
Little pretty white girl
Ran into a black man's arms.

Dead giveaway, dead giveaway!
My neighbor got big testicles,
Cause we see this dude everyday.
We eat ribs with this dude,

People can see it in many different directions
All we know is there was a gun
That's dumb
There was a gun
That's dumb
Were you robbed?
I don't know--All I know is I was a

Tonight we witness the final contest
two men enter and two men shall leave
but each must answer now my questions three

preekotos omnipitos romneytos schieffertos freetos obamatos

Yea! Wooh! Alright! Alright OK! Now...

Can’t trust a man you can bait with a tweet
Don’t let anyone tell you that our country is weak
He insults John McCain, who deserves our respect
Ignores his debts--what the heck?
Bernie and I will work together
We all know he’s a national treasure

Me and Bernie

I'm backin' up, backin' up, backin' up, backin' up
Cause my daddy taught me good
I'm backin' the hell outta there
And I'm like oh my God, oh my God, my God

I'm backin' up, backin' up, backin' up, backin' up
Cause my daddy taught me good

milk thug - no one drinks as much milk as the milk thug
ready for action, drinkin this whole milk with passion
milk thug - yeah he drinks it straight out of a milk jug
ain't got time for the dishes, gotta go f#ck some bi$&hes
milk thug
eat a messy oreo clean up with a laptop
ain't a minute of the day that my swag stop
but no one understands the pain that i feel

Our economy is growing like 1999
The crime rate came down for the first time
For the first time
For the first time

I work the morning biscuit line at Hardy's
That's why you elected the Republican party
Republican Party

Well, I was just drivin down Northen Avenue
and all of sudden
I was just mindin my own business
BAM!
Hit me hard from the back
FOOM!
Fire was everywhere
Foom FOOM!

You’re gonna battle, you’re gonna fight
Win or lose, you’re gonna be alright
Regardless of the scoreboard
You can do anything you worked for

Do it for us
Do it for one another
Do it for yourself

Why should you be the next commander in chief
We got a lotta contenders so please keep it brief
We need someone that understands the world today
In this country, we need brain
Obama's finally tryna make a deal with Iran
Is it gonna stop em from getting the nuclear bomb
You terminate the deal on day one
Its failed foreign policy of the obama clinton doctrine

LYRICS
You know who I am
I'm Taxi Dave, Taxi Dave
With my black and yellow, black and yellow cab
You know who I am
And everything I do, I do is big

In my black and yellow cab

We need to repeal the whole war on drugs
It isn't working
We don't have to have more courts and more prisons
This has to change
This has to change

Prohibition didn't work

LYRICS:

To me, those balls are perfect
I can only speak for myself
I don't want anyone touchin the balls
rubbin the balls
To me, those balls are perfect

To me, those balls are perfect
I can only speak for myself
I don't want anyone touchin the balls
rubbin the balls
To me, those balls are perfect

Some guys like 'em round and some guys like 'em thin
Some guys like old balls, new balls--they're all different

[Trump]
Death, weakness, destruction
Lives ruined, corruption
We don't win anymore
The situation is worse than it has ever been before

China rapes our country
Mexico sends rapists, they take our money

I was outside cuttin up bike tires with my grandson, when out of nowhere
Forty hundred police vehicles came bookin
They went, busted up in that weird old white dude's house
He had a cult up in there
White dudes hold the record for creepy crimes
But females are strong as hell

Unbreakable!

No. it was just somebody’s prank. I did not know she was fake. The same day that everybody else found out, I found out. (I found out) I just found that everything I believed to be reality wasn’t reality at all. (wasn’t reality at all)
You were with someone you had never met?
Why, Why, Manti?
The feeling the pain that was all real
Can you see why people would view this as a lie?
I didn’t lie. My whole work told me that she died
Why, Why, Manti?
She seems nice. She seemed very beautiful.

I'm on a drug called Charlie Sheen
It's not available, if you try it once you will die
Your face will melt off
And your children will weep over your exploded body, over your exploded body

You love to party
What's not to love?
The run I was on made Jagger and Richards look like