The Vandals все тексты (слова) песен, переводы, видео, клипы

I'm Palm Palm head - and I wrote one good song - But that was almost 20 years ago - I tried and I tried to follow it up - But you know how those sophomore jinxes go - So I became quite bitter - as sales dropped like flies - No one likes these dumb songs - of racing cars and spies - Maybe it's my ape drape - or hippies in my band - But now we only tour in Arizona - or Japan - So after much thought - and a panel of experts - I came up with a brilliant little plan - I'll take out my frustrations - on one of these ungrateful new punk rock bands - 'cause I invented socks - and I invented gravy - I made up the cotton gin - but no one ever paid me - Why beat a dead horse - with a career that is cursed? - I'll just sue for royalties - on things I thought of first - Back in Ancient Egypt - many Pharaohs went to jail - for misappropriation - of my Phrigian scale - I said listen to Tutankhamen - you're driving me insane - it's obvious those bellies - are all dancing to Bloodstains - I figured out you owe me - and please try not to laugh - but every time I hear it - I get one more golden calf - So I've bitten off - a sizable chunk - of the hands of the people - with the food - Now I'm confined to the pages of Flipside - a graveyard of punk rock's 35 year old dudes - 'cause I invented socks - and I invented gravy - I made up the cotton gin - but no one ever paid me - Why beat a dead horse - with a career that is cursed? - I'll just sue for royalties - on things I thought of first - Palm Palm! - Palm Palm! - Palm Palm! - Ape Drape! - Ape Drape! - Poodle Head! - Poodle Head!

Driving in our airstream - we're a band on the road - with equipment, roadies, a manager - we've got a heavy load - airstream! airstream! airstream! - get out of my lane! - airstream! airstream! airstream! - on our way to your town - cause you've never seen us play - with our airstream's aerodynamic design - we should be there any day - airstream! airstream! airstream! - get out of my lane! - airstream! airstream! airstream! - airstream is so shinny - and it's made out of aluminum - you can't tell if it's a '64 - or an '81 - I know that it's American made - So my chest just swells with pride - Then I grab that stainless steel handle - And I pull myself inside - double insulation - diamond tuck n roll - toilet, shower, refrigerator - we're completely self contained - airstream! airstream! airstream! - get out of my lane! - airstream! airstream! airstream! - airstream is so beautiful - we can hardly keep the foxes out - when we round that final corner - we can hear them shout - airstream!

An idea for a movie

I got an idea for a movie,
and it goes like this
(Check it out) It's about a boy who gets his finger caught
In a bottle of Mr. Pibb

And they go on adventures,

ust a grunt in a bind in his homeland
Taking orders from a very very bad man
Just yer average Dieter, Helmut, or a Bertrand
I can waste him 'cause I know I never never shook his hand

Killed by a hero, what are we supposed to do?

just a loser with a girlfriend getting fat and

Well we finished up the record and we think that it's the shit-and we want it to go huge, but to play it off legit. And the guy in A&R's got the CD in his car and he thinks track 4 and 6 are contenders Put the play lists are so tight that we gotta do it right But he's getting a good feeling so we're gonna take a meeting with the radio promo and the marketing Homo's to see if we can get a green light.
So we waited by the phone and they finally let us know that the label is
Quote Really excited

CHORUS:
This could be the big one, time to celebrate perhaps.
Our fate is in the hands of strangers-
Going gold- or down the hole- you can kiss my ass!

So this year I've a Christmas surprise
that will make your spirits rise...

I think back on the times, when you've always been there for me
And when things seemed unclear- you did the thinking for me.

I owe you so much that its hard,
to repay you for all the good times

I know it's not my fault I've been held back, under attack by parents,
teachers, lawyers, past employers, that hold me down.
My efforts all disgraced and criticized, thrown in my face.
They're only joy to plot and foil my conquests, and hold me down.
I hope they're happy now.

I blame the people who are in front of me,
deliberatly they block me from my dreams and progress.

I've watched you grow for all these years and shamefully admit,
I've loved to watch you blossom and it's awful hard to quit
feeling these feelings stirring up inside of me.
You nearly are a woman now and in a couple years,
all the rules and boundaries will slowly disappear,
wait now my child until you get a little older,
every new sunrise brings your heart a little closer- to me

It's my brithday and I'll do what I want to
F*ck you it's my birthday
Special holiday only for me
So do what I say
I'ts my party and I can cry if I want to, or leave
F*ck you, it's not your birthday
So do what I say ok
For 24 hours your wishing me well

Oh, I am crushed. And I am devastated.
And contemplating suicide but I don't have the nerve.
And what's the rush? It all should end real soon.
And so I'll just keep waiting and I'll listen to them say,
"You've got your life in front you," and so I must reply.
"That is just more bad news cuz I'd really rather die."
Than limp around in agony, reliving all the tragedies and face another day.

I believe the children are the future
Teach them well and let them know
Things may be all shit right now
But it gets worse when your old

Happy meals and Easter bunny
Great moments indeed
Enjoy it now while you still can

I saw a girl and she drove me wild
She looked at me and I looked and smiled
The cutest girl you'd ever see
I never dreamed she'd go out with me

We met at school so I asked her out
The only girl I ever thought about
She's 16 and she's so devine

It's not enough to say you're mine it still seems so unsatisfying.
I want to live inside your mind and wear your shoes and walk for miles.
Show up as you, do what you do, see what ensues- can we try'

[Chorus:]
I just had to explain that we are one in the same.
Help me 'cause I'm Becoming You.
I smell your clothes I smell your sheets and wish that smell had come from me.

Make it like that famous country singer
Or that guy I saw last night on Jerry Springer
Clean me up but let me keep my edge,
In the day I like to keep it dignified
But at night you know I got another side
And I don't give a damn, cause I am what I am
Even if it's really really bad
I've got an Ape Drape, yes I do

You know when your sure
that no one gives a crap,
your on the right track
It's a fact

And when you believe,
things are good
it's guaranteed

You're on tour, I'm alone
Wonder just what you did with your phone
Try usin' it, I'm losin' it
(I) never thought I'd lose you this way

Quit the band, Get off stage
Come back home, start acting your age
Look at me, look at us

Johnny Twobags doesn't have the blues
and it makes him sad Brings him down
But not down enough to have the blues

He's too white to have the blues
He thinks he should be black to have the blues
He's too green to sing the blues
and Orange County ain't a breeding ground for blues

Mr. Playboy, Sir Weasel, Poppin Snake, and Mr. Cool
Went down to the boulevard to play their ass some pool

Illa Zilla, Illa Zilla, Illa Zilla
Lady Killer
Illa Zilla, Illa Zilla, Illa Zilla
Lady Killer
I'mfa for, I'mfa for, I'mfa dancin' wit you

For all those that are feeling way too fed up inside
Now here's a celebration of failure and losing
Like to put a shout out to all y'all far and wide
Sorry people but this is the way it's gotta be

I know, I know, I know, I know
we are pushing the parameters to a brand new low
The end is near there's lots to fear

Well I asked her about him, those long hair, and them curls
She said he's just a nice guy, likes to hang out with the girls
Well I didn't think twice about him - I just figured him for gay
Well I sure had him pegged right wrong he stole my girl away
But I told her I don't give a damn Bon Jovi's finally here
I'm not about to miss the Laker game to see that long haired queer
But you go on ahead why don't you take that little freak
That was my first mistake - she didn't come back for a week

A needy world greets the new messiah.
Taking applications for disciples.
To touch the hem of his leather trousers,
unleashes the fury of his healing powers.
His feet we're blistered for you sins,
and painful melvins in the high school gym.
From those who doubted "He" was "Him".
The savior of our souls- Lord Michael.

Young girl says to her mom,
"How did you know that father was the one?"
Then mom just rolls her eyes
She says,
"You'll find that special guy"
But to herself she cannot lie
She says,
"I'm praying for the day I die and they bury me"

Now Mohawk John knew he did wrong
When he went and killed some men
They sent for the marshal to bring him in
They sent for Marshal Skin

He rolled into town,
And pulled his cowboy hat down
Cause everyone knows a skinhead,

Hey mom, it's been fantastic since I'm on my own - At first it seemed so drastic when you and dad kicked me out - but it made me get my act together - and learn what life's all about - now I'm self reliant I can hold my own - Movin' up, - lookout - I got me a job, at a food service place - I'm making four-fifty - and things are going great - I'm cleaning toilets, making fries - but in a couple years - Your least favorite son could make the manager - I don't need education, - forget about a college - I've got the motivation, - I've got the knowledge - I'll work my way slowly up the food service ladder - and prove to my new family here I really matter - Movin' up, - lookout, - here I come, - Movin' up - I hate to jinx my chances - if it's too soon to speak - but there has been some talk, - I could be worker of the week - They'll give me half price lunches - and my own parking space - if I ever get a car - that's icing on the cake - Movin' up, - Lookout, - here I come, - I'm doing great - I may share one room place - with seven other strangers - with bugs and drugs - and several other dangers - but I command the dinner shift, - and when depressed - I think the four F's - Friends, Fun, Fast-Food, Flexible hours - 'cause I got me a job - I got me a plan - you said I was a mess up - but I proved that I'm a man - I'm here surviving - and I did my own way - Mom and Dad - I wish that you could see me today - I'm Movin' up, - Lookout, - Here I come, - I got a raise, - Movin' up - Lookout, - Here I come, - I'm doing good

Every time I see her sweet face makes me wanna, gotta cut my throat
No escaping or erasing her image that haunts me and taunts me again
But the sun it never lies, just offers warmth and fills the skies
Says to me "it's time she went away"

[Chorus:]

My brain it tells my body, keep staring at the sun

Christmas 1994, not like the year before.
We didn't want to know.
Buried our heads in the snow...
Looking back it was obvious to everyone.
But then again he's not just anyone.
We used to laugh and call him names.
Some things I wish I could change.
Snow fell.

I once had a girlfriend,
But then one day she dumped me and everywhere
I'd go people would ask me where she was.

But I don't want to talk about her.
But someone always asks about her.
So I tell them all my girlfriend's dead.

Haji was a punk just like any other boy
And he never had no trouble until he started up his Oi band,
safe in the garage or singing in the tub.
Till Haji went to far and he plugged in at the pub

Twas a cold Christmas eve when Trevor and the skins
popped in for a pint and to nick a back of crisps
Trevor liked the music but not the Unity

Hey buddy how you doin' today?
Thanks a lot buddy, man, I'm doin' OK.
How bout you, you doin' all right?
Well I got into a fight my girl left last night.
That's rough, guy, what was it about?
I lost my job and she just ran out.
Your honey got runny when the money got funny?
My honey got runny when the money got funny, buddy.

some people are bad and they don't give a damn what they do or who they hurt
they go through their lives and don't apologize
for the shit that they've disturbed
but they don't bother me at all
cuz i know quite well-
when they're lives are over and they're done what they've done
they're the people that are going to hell

Seven hits of L
and nobody could tell
So I spent every dime
just to get to Aniehem

I was in the Magic Kingdom
Now I'm in the Carribean
You get something really wicked

medium cheese,
she's glad to take my order
long long way
from that lao-viet border
she fled the jungle
the evil viet cong, pizza tran
orange county
is where you belong

Mustache is a symbol of repression and of hate
Never trust a man with a butt broom on his face
It's the facial marking of the man who holds you down
The source of all your problems, every city, every town
Stalin, Hitler, Schneider, just to name a few
got to kill the mustache before it grows on you

Fight! The mustache power! [x3]

I live in the land of the freeways - Home of the smog and traffic - The sun and the air - The mountains and sea - Streams and palm trees - The valleys... - The canyons... - The mountains... - The beaches... - Hollywood, downtown, the valley - Are all places you should see - The city at night, the city so bright - a short time away a campfire sight - The missions... - The mansions... - The farmlands... - Punk rock bands... - People come from all over - to work and live in the sun - It's always so nice - my own paradise - The desert , the snow - So many places to go - The people... - The places... - The weather... - The faces... - That's for me

[Guy:] Do you love me baby?
[Girl:] Yes
[Guy:] Well how much do you love me?
[Girl:] A whole bunch
[Guy:] Well how much is a whole bunch?
[Girl:]Well I don't know
[Guy:]This much?
[ SLAP ]

Mixed By The Vandals

01. The Chemical Brothers - The Salmon Dance (Heavily Smoked By The Glimmers)
02. Felix Da Housecat - Pretty Girls Don't Dance (What Should I Do)
03. Yelle - A Cause Des Garcons (Album Version)
04. Lily Allen - Alfie (Css Remix)
05. Grafton Primary - I Can Cook (Original Mix)
06. Gameboy/gamegirl - Sweaty Wet/dirty Damp

summer lovin' had me a blast
summer lovin' happened so fast
met some girl, crazy for me
met a guy, cute as can be
summer days drifted away
to oh, the summer nights

tell me more,

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious
If you say it loud enough you'll always sound precocious
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

I was afraid to speak when I was just a lad
My father gave my nose a tweak and told me I was bad
And then one day I heard a word to save my aching nose

and i think of myself
then i know some food i need to buy
then i think of my health,
and i know a living thing must die
if i have taken the time
taking the time to understand
why you and me were never meant to eat a bird that fly's

All you people gather round
And get together
No more sitting on your booty
party people it's your duty
you know what I mean
tell your body what to do
it's up to you

When Humanity creates a hierchy
Placing blowholes above anemones
When sovereign nations have made it policy
Slaughter anything that goes with wasabe
In the food chain, there is a third rail
Winking at mass murder of the yellow tail
Let 'em suffocate, there's no intelligence
They don't jump through hoops for an audience

Hot step moms and surrogate dads
It breaks my heart to see him so sad
Lying alone in his room with a frown on
Reruns show him what he's missing out on
If life could be, like he sees it on TV
He wouldn't have to hurt so bad
Hurts so bad `cause
It's too much drama, too much drama Dad and Mama

Come here little boy - I'm a friend of your mother's - I'll give you a candy bar if you get in the car - Okay - He's got his camera - and deep seeded obsessions - His nordic heritage - and sexual frustrations - He wants to be Lief Ericksson - to discover America - but he's not - He's just a photographer - who likes little boys in viking suits - He likes to take the little boys - walking home from school - in his neighborhood - Take them to his studio - and dress them up in viking suits - Words of wisdom - Each one rings true - Watching little brothers could happen to you - So don't grow up to be a guy - Who takes pictures of little boys in viking suits - Come here little boy

You can tell I'm no great planner - I ended up at the wanna be manor - wanna be manor, what a place to be - wanna be manor, it's not for me - I looked in the door, opened the door - peeed on the floor, spotted a whore - drugs and filth are all around - no clean dishes can be found - if you thought that your nightmares were scary - wait till you meet the hoe called jerri - no one dragged a dead fish in the room - it's spreading legs and her female perfume - I walked upstairs, I can't explain - but I got involved in a three man train - was it fun? Yeah, I guess - but I got crabs like all the rest - Dave's a cool guy but he's a really a slob - lives on unemployment, and he can't get a job - go ahead and take a drink, there's nothing to fear - just make sure you sniff that beer! - Passing out is no excuse - you'll be subject to abuse - some will let you hang there - It's just the pigs on their nightly visit - After busting one person each - the pigs said to move out of huntington beach - now I'll have to find a new town - or find another wanna be manor - wanna be manor - You can tell I'm no great planner - I ended up at the wanna be manor - wanna be manor, what a place to be - wanna be manor, it's not for me - wanna be manor - wanna be manor

Wouldn't you like to try everything once before you had to die? Don't lie
If there was no one watching or to ask why
Wouldn't you like to see inside yourself and know what you could be?
To be free. Of course when I say you, I mean me

[Chorus:]
Then your head begins to ache
And all the plans you made just break