Jon Lajoie все тексты (слова) песен, переводы, видео, клипы

B7 E
Some lesbians like eating each others shit out of a cup
E A B C#M
Some people say I love you, some even shout it out
E A B7 E
Some people puke semi-digested shit into eachothers mouths

C#M B A E

We’re floating in space on the edge of time…
In a universe that we can’t define.
Billions of stars in the endless night.
Try and find purpose for our lives,
Yet we still take the time,
We still take the time,
Yes we always take the time…

D Bm
Girl you broke my heart
D Bm
left me for another
D Bm
thought you were the one
D Bm
we´d be togehter forever

I througt maybe I'll find a friends
Or maybe I'd meet a girl
Have the great conversation with
The stranger on the other side of the world
Or maybe lern something new
About the culture other place
Connect with another human be in
But everytime i press ''new game"

It was late at night on Christmas eve
I was dreaming of the soft white snow
I was awoken by a noise near the Christmas tree
What it was I did not know

It was Santa Clause he was bringing me some gifts
Unfortunately I did not know that
So I quietly snuck up behind him

I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
Nothing special about me Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
When I go to the clubs I wait in line Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
I got 600 dollars In the bank Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
And my sexual performances is average

I'm just a regular everyday normal mothafucka
I told you in the first song I'll tell you in another
I'm just a regular everyday normal motherfucka
I don't have a girlfriend my hand is my only lover
I'm just a regular everyday normal motherfucka
One night a week my mom likes to cook me supper
I'm just a regular everyday normal motherfucka
And Michael Keaton was my favourite batman

Yo. All the rappers claim to not give a fuck.
Well step aside bitches, cause I give the lowest amount of fuck humanly possible.

What?!

(I don't a give a fuck...)
About anything, fuck everyone and fuck everything, what
(I don't give a fuck...)

Have you ever watched the sun go down?
And you're thinking bout' the world spinning round
Have you ever been high as fuck?
You're in the bathroom mirror talking to yourself
And your dog's looking at you like you need help
Have you ever been high as fuck?
And then you feel your heart pumping really fast
And you're convinced that you're gonna have a heart attack

Some guys are good at talking to girls.
Some guys have all the money in the world.
Some guys wear fancy shoes and pants.
I’m not one of those guys but baby
I can dance, dance, dance, dance,
dance, dance…
I can dance, dance, dance, dance,
dance, dance…

I can run a hundred miles without stopping for rest.
I can stay under water for 5 minutes on a single breath.
When I focus my mind I always reach my goal,
but there’s one thing I cannot control…

I come too fast…
I come too fast…
A couple strokes and my erection is a thing of the past.

Did you miss me?

Oooh, yeah
What, what MC Vagina's right back in this bitch
Two thousand nine is the year that I recorded this song
Still not loving police
Still got love for the vaginal crease
Player haters beware, because

I can see it in your eyes, girl, that you're in the mood for love
So I'll light some candles, pour some wine, let's sit down on the rug
But there\'s something I must tell you, babe, before we take this step
Something about me, girl, that you do not know yet

I have no penis. It was torn off
In a bicycle accident in 1999.
I also lost one testicle so all I have is a weird uni-ball

I have to stop listening to my penis, listening to my penis,
That's when I would be a genius, if I'd stop listening to my penis,

I should be studying and working hard,
My future depends on this bizarre
Why am I standing in this noisy club?
With people I hate? What the fuck?
This doesn’t make sense, I hate this place,

My heart is on fire like a burning cross
Compare to you word is a those to back of the bus
You're as beautiful as a svastika
And baby I want to tell you:

I love you as much as I hate other the races
Religions and sexual orientations
I love you as much as I love Jesus Christ

You're the dude from high school I see at the gym
You're a friend of a friend or a second cousin
You're a coworker I sometimes eat lunch with
You're one of my many acquaintances
You know Christmas is about spending time
With friends and family
but just because you're not in one of those
two categories

We want topless women in our music videos
We want pop stars acting like they're in a porno
You know we want it and we gettin' what we ask for
But when Miley does it we say "Oh my God No!!"

Why's she acting like a ho, this is so wrong, we all object
Where did she get the idea to act like a sexual object?
I suspect she is on drugs, I think she's losing her mind

Please use this song in your commercial
Please use this song in your commercial
I need the money, so please use this to sell something
Please use this song in your commercial

A fast food franchise, office supplies,
A brand new hair dye, a dating website,
A suicide hotline, a new way to exercise,

girl im a sexual attractive man
that makes me a good artist
this is my new single
i hope you like it

wealthy men hired me
to sing this song
that they wrote for me

Hello boys and girls,
it’s time to learn about potty time.
Do you feel a ca ca in your bum-bum
or a pee-pee in your wee-wee?
Well, come along and sing with me…

Poo-poo comes out of your bum
and it makes funny noises…

It starts off like a thousand other songs that you’ve heard before.
Except in this one they do a little do, do-do-do, doo do do dooooo.

So you try to change the station but it’s playing on every one.
A bunch of shitty ass chords and lyrics recorded by a f*cking moron.

You assume that the general public is not that stupid.
You’re positive that nobody will want to listen to this.

Women are stupid, and I don't respect them,
That's right, I just have sex with them,

Show me your genitals, your genitals,
(What!)
Show me your genitals,
(Your genitalia!)
Show me your genitals, your genitals,

Women are stupid and I don’t respect them,
That’s right, I just have sex with them.

Show me your genitals, your genitals…
What!
Show me your genitals…
Genitalia!
Show me your genitals, your genitals…

I am slightly irresponsible,
Girl, don't let that scare you away,
'Cause I am still reliable,
Just not a hundred percent, baby.

Sometimes I fall asleep without brushing my teeth
And I only floss approximately twice a week,
I don't return phone calls all the time,

Britney, I can feel your sadness.
The world is filled with madness,
and everybody takes it out on you
and there’s nothing you can do but
girl I want you to know
that I’m not one of those
because I don’t care what they all say,
I’d still have sex with you any day…any day.

You tried to make me stay down upon my knees
Tell me that I’m wrong and right is just a dream

Someone has to pay, oh oh oh
The American way
I should just go home

You say I don’t make sense, I don’t know what I need

Ladies and Gentlemen get off the dance floor and start doing your chores!
IT'S SUNDAY AFTERNOON!

It's Sunday Afternoon and there are a few things that I have to do, and I'm gon do em, I'm gon do em.
It's Sunday Afternoon and there are a few things that I have to do, and I'm gon do em, I'm gon do em.

First up, I gotta tidy up.
My place is getting messy, haven't cleaned it in a month.

It’s your birthday today,
What does that mean I guess I’ll try to explain,
That twenty-one years ago on this day,
It was the first time your parents saw your beautiful face.

And nine months before that magical day,
Your Dad probably took your Mom on a date,
And they were having a good time,

This is the best song ever made in the world
This is the best song ever made in the world
Other songs are good, even some are really good
But they are not the best songs ever made in the world

It has a lot of good beats and a lot of good singing
And the music is so good, even scientists don't know what it is
You can listen to it anywhere, on a bike or on a different bike

I can run a hundred miles without stopping for rest
I can stay underwater for five minutes on a single breath
When I focus my mind I always reach my goal
But there's one thing I cannot control

I come too fast, I come too fast
A couple of strokes and my erection is a thing of the past
I come too fast, I come too fast

Aahhh yeah, I’m back…bitches.
Women are equal and they deserve respect,
Just kidding, they should suck my dick.
Vagina (what!)…vagina (what!)…
I want to have sex with your vagina (uhh)
Vagina (what!)…vagina (what!)…
2 plus 2 = vagina (uhh).

In the planet of Earth I am the most famous person of the world
Everybody knows who I am even the people who don’t know who I am
Because I am very super famous
Super famous very super famous
Lot of people know I exist
I am very super famous, BITCH
Super famous very super famous
You are not you are shit